Everyone’s Fighting their own Battles

Hey you! Yes, YOU! forgetThat meme…that meme right there (said in the best Katt Williams’ voice I can muster), is for YOU!

About a year ago, I was getting ready to graduate university. For anyone who has been in this same predicament, you will know that when I describe the vague abyss that lurks on the other side of graduation, to say that it is daunting is an understatement. But no! Not this chick here! This chick right here likes to have lists and lists of lists- insert shameless plug for Ryder Carol’s Bullet Journal or “bujo” for those in the know. Obviously not me. I don’t wear pink on Tuesdays, I don’t sit at that table.



I digress. I planned to focus more intensively on my business and sought, both figuratively within my soul as well as on Google, to find myself a business mentor who, you know, could “teach me how to fish.” I found a phenomenal lady. We have partnered this year on many, many soul building experiences. Interestingly enough, we have build more character and personal growth than business.


This past week, she recommended to me that I should read Guy Hendrick’s book The Big Leap. Apparently, I was the only one in my circle who hasn’t heard of this book, because let me TELL you! It’s phenomenal. Even as I described the cover to my babies today of the small but mighty fish jumping from his comfortable little fish bowl into a vastly large one, they got it. “Yeah mama,” they quipped. “Of course he wants to be in the bigger bowl! It will make him happier and he can do more in there.” *insert blank stares.*

My mentor told me I would have a week to read it. Instantly, my brain started to panic. I work full time. I am a single mama. I have massive life decisions to make. HOW am I supposed to read a book in its entirety in a week?  Apparently she had no doubt in her mind that this would be fine for me. I asked her for 2 weeks because I needed to purchase the book online and allow for shipping time aka buy myself some breathing room while I sip Americano’s at Starbucks and check out eye candy at a fancy-starbucks and booksschmancy-pants Indigo. Needless to say, I ordered it to my Kindle the next day. I was quite proud of myself to report to her today that I made it 9 days ahead of my own schedule and 1 day ahead of her schedule for me. But did my epic power reading get me any further ahead, or was reading for the sake of reading and pleasure a prize in itself? Anyone who knows me knows I used to read 2-3 books per week.

While the book is itself a remarkable read and I have much to ponder/process/over think over copious amounts of coffee, I have 4 takeaways I am eager to share with you. They are the barriers to our own success. I will share the first one with you today, and the subsequent ones in the weeks to come.

Barrier 1.

Did you know that you get in your own way… on purpose? That we can self-sabotage for a number of different reasons? The first I want to share is about not believing we are good enough and in essence, unlovable. How many times do we find ourselves thinking about our regrets, we “should have” done something previously and now it’s too late? How we aren’t talented enough, we aren’t pretty enough, we aren’t smart enough. Someone else has already done it, and done it better… Sound familiar?

As I read through the pages of this book, I was amazed. Mind=blown!!!!!  What would I have done if I had stopped believing what others said-what I said to myself- about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be? What would my life look like? What would your life look like?


I am attaching a powerful YouTube video I listen to almost weekly (sometimes multiple times) to hype me up. Dr. Eric Thomas, who as you know, is a genius in his own right, states that his situations didn’t change in his life. His absent father didn’t suddenly come back. America didn’t suddenly become non-racist overnight. Rather: he changed through perspective and night classes and grinding. For me, my birth mom didn’t suddenly become awesome and my bestie. My marriage didn’t un-fall-apart to where I am no longer a single mama of 3. I changed. Through lots of coffee, tears, girlfriends and their dick jokes, university, and memes.



So, what’ll it be for you? As my colleague says often, “everyone  has their own dragons to slay.” What are yours? What isn’t going away any time soon, but perhaps a change in perspective a few degrees might alter your life trajectory in a real and tangible way?

Lana (1)

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