What You Allow is what will Continue.

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Do you ever have people in your life who just SUCK the life right out of you? They are toxic. Even the thought of them requires some hand/mind sanitizer, or at least two strong drinks? My life, unfortunately, has several of these people. They are leeches. They are takers. They are not happy until I am at least bawling my eyes out. They have no limits. Because I am a kind and generous lady, as Rihanna says in Four Five Seconds, “Don’t take my kindness for weakness.” That is exactly what happened on an ongoing basis.

And I let it.

I have been quite reflective and done some serious soul searching as my Dirty Thirty is quickly approaching. Why am I allowing these toxic people into my life? People don’t call me Sunshine for nothing. I realized from a very young age that I have a positive, vibrant aura that people are naturally drawn to. However, with that many people being drawn to me, it is up to me to guard it. These sunshine stealers want nothing more than to do just that- steal your joy, sunshine and life energy. They will suck you dry, take all you have if you let them. The key being, if YOU let them. Someone once told me that a gift is a gift only if you accept it. Wow. Let that sit with you for a minute. A gift is a gift only if you accept it. So… If I make a conscious choice not to accept their bad-minded, sunshine stealing actions in my life, then it rolls off me, Jay-z 99 Problems style *Hit me.*

So what does all of this have to do with you, you might ask? Just wait! I’m getting to the good stuff. Here are a few tips and tricks from my playbook to help guard yourself from the takers and ensure that your good stuff remains good. Keep in mind I talk to myself as much as I talk to you, beautiful people.

  1. Don’t be alone with them (physically, emotionally, Snap-chatedly). Plain and simple. If you know that they get under your skin the second you see them in real life, or online on your social media forum. If they message you, or they come to say hello, do a quick one-two step, Lebron James style and keep it MOOOOOOOOO-VING.
  2. *DO NOT ENGAGE!!!* I’ve heard it said, “Never argue with a fool. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” These types of online/real life trolls feast on arguments and dragging you into confrontation.
  3. The sandwich method. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hear the social worker out for a minute (that would be me, in case you didn’t know). When you know you have to engage with this person whether physically or virtually, do something that makes you happy first. Listen to some trap music, grab a Starbucks, do some yoga. Engage with them the least amount of time possible, and then BEFORE you even leave, plan for something happy to do directly following this horrible meeting. This way, you can, that’s right, sandwich the terribleness with awesomeness and then it makes it a bit more malleable.

And so, my beautiful friend, do not allow the craziness that is in your life to continue.

Affirmation: You are amazing, you have great things to offer this world. Do not accept what is not yours to receive. 

Lana (1)

Like what you’re reading? Click here to purchase the books, 31 Days to Sanity and Shadows of Memories

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