Have you ever met a person who was just BITTER and angry at life because of a divorce? They had one event, and then the rest of their lives have subsequently been marked by this, for better or for worse? *actually though* I have a client whose has those horrible divorced parents. I’m talking the stuff movies are made of. Anyways, my colleague and I were discussing how nasty this divorce is getting and how it relates to our work. I come to find out, these people were not divorced last week, but over 10 years ago.
I remember a story one of my profs in university used to tell at least once a year, of a lady in her 20s whose husband died a year, almost to the day, of their first wedding anniversary. And then. It happened. Her life became frozen in time. Her heart left her body and she was frozen as this crazy bitter divorced lady. She never remarried. She was so fixated, when she died in her 80s she was asked to be buried in her wedding dress. The first time I heard it the absurdity of it made me laugh out loud, much to the avid dismay of my peers. Insert Katt Williams’ voice, “Get your laughs in boo boo! You a star player!”
As I recounted details of my own divorce to my colleague, about the adventures of my 2012 Just Divorced Party on the amazing beaches of Florida, she stared at me in amazement. “You are remarkable, Lana. I would never have believed you were divorced because you just….aren’t bitter!” As I thought it about it, I realized that as I am now six years post divorce, I really am not! A friend once told me that the only reason they are still lashing out and resorting to foolishness is because they still care, albeit a seriously flawed execution.
There are the odd times when he’s absolutely ridiculous and petty over small things like maybe they don’t need their winter jackets when it’s May but I’m not expert. Or there’s the time when I had saved up my pennies for months on a university student budget to take them to Disney on Ice, only to have him take them 2 days before we were supposed to go. F*CK. THAT! You know what happened? I donned that Nemo slushie hat, I got my Mickey on, and me and my babies had the best damn time you better believe. Success and happiness are the best revenge 😉 Feel free to send me your success is the best revenge stories! I love to hear them.